Monday, December 21, 2009

RSVP: does anybody even care?

Last week, I printed off four invitations from a website I found, filled in by hand the "blanks" and sent them to four of Brennan's school friends. His teacher placed them in the students mailboxes, thus ensuring "Mom and Dad" would get them.

On the invitations for a "Polar Express Playdate" it says, "Please call Jessica at XXX-XXXX to let us know if you can come and play!"

Now, I know parents are busy. Heck, I am so busy I've had to X some things I've really wanted to do. BUT...a phone call to another mother who is waiting to know if your child can participate or not A) takes 30 seconds B) is courteous C) allows for the hostess to plan properly D) helps prevent your child from being very disappointed if no friends show up to play.

Luckily, I did not have to do any advanced prep, nor did I purchase anything special for this event. However, when Brennan woke up late last night with a stomach virus, it would have been nice for the other parents to have RSVPed so I'd have their phone numbers to call and post pone or cancel.

So, instead, we had to make sure that if a parent came, we could send their child home. Unfortunately (and a blessing at the same time), no one came. I called Brennan's one friend who I knew was coming, to let her mom know it was off. Lucky for me there was a reason to cancel, otherwise I'd have a pretty sad Brennan...now he can just think his friends didn't come because he was sick last night (and of course feels fine today...why does this keep happening?).

I am hosting a Premier Jewelry Party Jan. 9. I sent out an evite to just about everybody under the sun...out of the 70 evites sent out, only 18 have responded. I know not all 70 (not even half) will be able to attend, but simply clicking "No" on the evite sure would be nice so I could think of a few more people if it looks like there will be less then ten people coming.

It's the same song, different verse, every time a party is held. People just don't respond back...even if the answer is no, I don't care...I just want to know so I can plan properly. If you are a big planner like me, this is key to a successful event.

The moral of the story: Next time you are invited to an activity by someone, please be prompt in letting the hostess know if you can make it or not, even if the answer is no...the hostess won't mind, she will probably just be happy you acknowledged the event she is working so hard to create.


8 Words to brighten my day:

PapaJeff said...

You are so right, Jessie. Common courtesy is not common any more. I took a cake to my Uncle J.B.'s 85th birthday party (the party was a surprise to him and the cake was a surprise to his daughters) and he sent a very nice "Thank you" to us for coming to the party and for the cake. Very nice of him to do, and that was what was the norm for most of the time he has been on this earth. It's only in the past few years that courtesy (RSVP, Thank you, etc) have disappeared. Maybe the problem is that few people understand what "RSVP" means.

Anonymous said...

Well said.

Lori A. said...

Agreed!! We have only had a few friend parties for our kids over the years...it's always so stressful. The last one we had for my daughter, most did not RSVP one way or the other...2 that didn't RSVP showed up. Two that did RSVP to come didn't show up.
We had to pay for 10 kids regardless of how many showed (10 didn't show) so we were prepared for that...but I had gone out of my way to make my own favor bags personalized with each attendees name on it (brought a couple w/no names just in case). That was a little frustrating.

I *always* RSVP. On time. I had put an RSVP by date on my daughters last party because we had to turn in a guest list by a certain day. I had a few call with a yes RSVP up until the day OF the party. Ugh. Fortunately, like I said, we paid for 10 regardless..but we had to stay near the entrance to make sure those who weren't on the list still got in.

Now, we did screw up the other night. I totally had the wrong date of a party in my head for some reason and we missed the party. I called and apologized, though.

Lori A. said...

Oh yea..one other thing. Not to excuse anyone, but I have gotten e-vites before and meant to RSVP and didn't. I try to make sure and mark things like that but I am guilty of forgetting it was in my email and never getting back around to responding when I realized I couldn't go.

Lori O said...

I totally agree with you!! It seems that we are all too "busy" to be polite. It makes me not want to do things sometimes b/c it's too hard to plan when you don't know what to expect. Over buying wastes money and time and underbuying is embarrassing. I did a cake for a bridal shower that no one RSVPed for and ended up with almost 50 people there and did not have enough cake. I always RSVP.

Connie said...

Ugh! I hate that. What's wrong with people now days?

Lori said...

Well, I wasn't invited to the Polar Express party, but I would have RSVPed. ;) And I will be at your jewelry party.

I had the same thing happen with my party. It is inconsiderate just to say nothing. There were a lot of people who didn't even acknowledge the invitation.

Nikki said...

I could've written this WORD FOR WORD. HUMONGOUS pet peeve of mine. I really don't care if you make it or not or WHY you can't make it just tell me YES or NO! It costs TIME and MONEY to host any kind of event and it's RUDE to not even acknowledge the effort!

I'm not saying I'm perfect either, as I have had momentary lapses of memory due to one thing or another but that's different than CONSISTENTLY ignoring or NOT RSVPing or just ASSUMING I know that you're coming/not coming. Which is very BALLSY of people. Ugh.

Sometimes I wish that etiquette was taught as a required class in school or that you have to have a certification in proper etiquette (please show your etiquette card at the door) before you can go/get invited to social events, I swear!