Tuesday, August 26, 2008

I Wanna Be...

the perfect Molly Mormon.

For those of you unfamiliar with this concept...
















Specialty Definition: MOLLY MORMON

DomainDefinition

Slang

Noun. Source: Unknown. Definition: A female member of the Mormon church who is viewed as flawlessly adhering to all tenets of the religion. Context: Used in frustration, along with feelings of inferiority, by women who can't live up to the ideal in reference to those who appear to do so. Also, many women realize the impossibility of the ideal, and take it flippantly and humorously.


So, now that we are all on the same page, let me explain. Since Big Brother has begun the school process, I have discovered areas that need my touch: Kindergarten Round-Up, Safe Walk, Curriculum Night, etc. I wasn't going to join the PTA, but I decided the PTA (and the school) needed me, because I know ALL the answers. :-)

As if I don't have enough to do, what with raising two (and baking one) children, having a husband with MS, being the "Relief Society president" of MOM, being the Primary President of Benson ward...the list goes on and on. I want to learn to bake like nobody's business, throw great parties (we're having one Saturday), and have a perfect house. I want to be caught up 100% on scrapbooking, become an awesome photographer, and learn to play the guitar. I want to read my scriptures every day, without fail, attend church for spiritual growth every week (not just occasionally when the kids are magically perfect and the stars are aligned) , and have perfectly behaved children.

See, I really want to be Molly Mormon...but with a twist.
I want to be naughty sometimes, too. I want to eat ice cream out of the container, not drink milk, and let my kids eat donuts while we are grocery shopping. All very anti-Molly.

Maybe I should create a new term for all of us to be...Milly Mormon or Monsteroursly Awesome Mormon or something like that...

What you would call the Molly Mormon that really wanted to be a rock star, too?


Oh, and did I mention that Molly Mormon's have wonderfully perfect houses, clean and beautifully decorated, too? Wouldn't that be wonderful?

6 Words to brighten my day:

Maren said...

Hmmm, if you were Molly, I couldn't be your friend anymore. There's something so refreshing about seeing women who try hard to do it all, but still have humility (in the form of the occasional breakdown!) Jessica, I think you're already amazing...don't be too hard on yourself. I completely understand about wanting to do stuff with the PTA, wondering where you're going to find time to do it, and signing up anyway! Miss you!

The letter 'M' said...

Just as long as we're not called Myley Mormons, I'm fine. I'm so tired of the Hannah Montana bandwagon I could kiss the green earth knowing that I have a son who won't eat up this crud in 5 years. Thank the stars above!

I agree with Maren- I need some 'real' people around me that have real emotions and can voice real opinions without feeling like they have to be cheery and artificial 24/7.

It's been hard as a convert to the church to feel like I fit in sometimes because I have lived 'in the world'. Sometimes when I talk to people, I can tell they just can't relate. It's not that they don't want to understand- they just can't because they haven't been there.

I admire you because you're real but you also have strong spiritual ties too. I've learned a lot from your outlook and also like Maren said, it's refreshing.

Just don't be TOO Molly-it's ok to say no when your plate is getting full. ;-)

Jamie Girl said...

Jess, this is hilarious!! i agree with everyone... YOU ARE AMAZING! and i can totally sympathize with wantiing to "do it all"... well except for the pta stuff... that will be me in 6 years:) i love you so much and think you are "perfect!!"

thecaillouets said...

you're the colsest thing to a molly i know. if you were any closer you would driv me crazy

Cathi said...

Despite Lexi's dislike of Hannah Montana, that was my suggestion! Hannah/Miley has a double life, so why not you? Be Molly Mormon at church and school and then at home eat all the icecream you want! Who needs to know about your "secret life"! And if anyone sees you buying donuts at the store just tell them you're bringing them to a neighbor in need! Totally acceptable MM behavior, but then you eat them on the way home! Now we just have to think of a cute nickname for your alter ego...

Jenn said...

Oh this is good. My favorite post yet! I too have the same wishes. I couldn't stop laughing and thinking to myself so true. I've got to help you come up with a name. I might have to get back to you on this. I love eating my Ben & Jerry's out of the pint. There really is something refreshing to being naughty... I don't know how else to explain it! :) Oh if you get 100% caught up on scrapbooking, please do me a favor and tell me your secret. I don't have enough hours in my lifetime to get to that point.