Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The Rut in the Road of Life

Have you ever felt like you were in a rut? Just not able to shake the funk that surrounds certain topics?
That is how I am feeling right now. Old. Tired. Rutty. Worn-out.
I try to shake it, even thinking to myself, "If I did X, then I would probably feel better about Y".
I don't.
I stay in the funk, cringing inside every time someone mentions this funky topic.
You'd probably not be able to guess it, seeing me from the outside. I hide things well.
But, the rut is there, and I feel like it is getting deeper. I am almost about to drown. I keep thinking, "Certainly this rut will be filled in soon.", but no, it is not.
I keep thinking about Bro. Bailey, our infamous LDS Institute director in Baton Rouge (let's hear some lovin' for Bro. B.) and how he would draw an upward hill, with some slopes going downward where times got tough, but you were still higher then when you started your journey. I keep telling myself I am higher then when I started my journey. I have learned, grown, developed. But today (and any day I think about problem X), I feel like I am at the bottom of the rut on the way up the hill of "life". (Oh, that is a cheese factor of about 10)
So, I keep on trying...
Trying to fill in the rut.
Trying to get a better attitude.
Trying to figure out a way to escape, without it being obvious that I am running away. (This might make it seem like I have a bad marriage and am trying to escape. That is not it at all. Bart is a rockstar of a husband, very kind, loving, and supportive. He even unloads the dishwasher every now and then. In fact, he's told me what to do to get out of the rut, but I am just not that bold yet.)

So, until I get out of this rut, somebody want to come bring me a snack and a juice box?

Have you ever been in a rut? How did you get out? Feel free to share your advice. And...if you want to know the rest of the store (RIP Paul Harvey), feel free to email me and see if you are one I will share with.

5 Words to brighten my day:

Lexi said...

Is this about Primary? Tell them to hit the road Jack!

Whatever it is, I hope you get out of the rut soon. Because being in knee deep in the brown stuff {mud or um, the other stuff} is tiresome and energy draining!

I hope things are looking up soon!

And I would of course bring you a snack but it will take me a while to get there! ;-)

Megan R. said...

Hmmm. We aren't at the juice box stage here yet, but I can bring you a jar of apricots and apples. Oh, and a teething biscuit. Will that help?

Holly said...

I sure do miss Bro. Bailey. I remember the Bro. Bailey diagrams, too. At the time I didn't realize how true to life they were.

It is so hard to find the motivation, determination, will power (whatever it is) to do the things that we need to do some times. Even though we are dealt different cards, we all have to lift weights so we can become stronger. Remember that Bro. Bailey analogy? :)

Sorry, juice boxes are banned at this house. Once Eli gets his hands on one, he squeezes the life out of it, spraying juice everywhere. All it took was one, and I learned my lesson.

Stacy Hutchinson said...

Bro. Bailey is the best. Do you remember what his number one message was? Men are that they might have JOY! Whatever is troubling you, I hope you can get through it and find that joy again. It's always a challenge when you have hard things to deal with, but somehow there is always a way to find joy in the journey. Hey, that phrase sounds familiar! I'm being a hypocrite here because I had a bad year dealing with my mom's cancer issues. Thank goodness I have my own personal mental health counselor at home-although I usually don't like hearing his advice because he always has great advise, but I'm not ready to listen to it. I'll be sending happy vibes your way, since the snack thing can't happen.

Lori O said...

Sorry to hear you are in a rut. I am typically a rut travelling lady myself, so I'm not much help in the advice dept. If it's a kid rut, I'm there now too. When I get sick of the diapers and dishes, I wash windows so I don't feel too guilty about not doing what I'm "suppose to." If it's a church rut, again, not much help. I imagine breaking up with my bishopric every week. I haven't had the nerve to do it yet. If it's a marriage rut, I don't know. I'm only married from Friday to Sunday. So I'm no help at all, but I can sure leave long comments on other people's blogs to avoid dealing with my kids!!
Good luck and take the good with the bad.